Balancing Positive & Negative Emotional Attractors to better myself.
How to be better ? Learning Exercise:
I try to listen to things people have said I should change to be better.
Just thinking about all those countless times, when I have been told by people around me, on personal or professional level, makes me realise that it all comes down to the very same “Should do Less of” “Should change” and “Should Not do” thing.
Endless times in many situations around the world by different people I get the very same advice;
- “I should not care too much”
- “I should not take it too personal”
- “Should not try for perfection”
- “I should not think to deep”
- “I should not do others job because I care so much”
From these people perspective If i didn’t care as much as I do, I would get more productive I would not lose time on perfecting everything to the smallest detail. And most importantly I would not get stressed, worried or overworked. But Would that really make me a better person? Could I truly get satisfied with work that it is not done to its best? Could I accept myself if I didn’t care as much?
When I was At my best:
And honestly if i think of the time when i was at my best, happy, excited, content and effective at home and work. Wondering Just how different was my behaviour and my attitude at that period of my life?
I have been very focused I remember, i also have been promoted couple of times at work within short period of time. I was mindful and positive in various ways and situations. Remembering now, that I observed people I worked with a lot , people on the bus, people i socialised with, I tried to understand everyone. I tried to understand people who did Not like me, I tried to understand my mum. I wanted to understand what people go thru in their lives and how they get effected by everything they experience. I was honest and good in my heart. I only saw the good in others. My boss too! I ignored or did not acknowledge anything negative. To a negative behaviour or negative comments I responded in most positive ways. And looking back, yes I didn’t think too deep into it and I didn’t take it too personal. I was empathetic and compasioned. So I didn’t get infected by negativism at all. Because I wasn’t focused on myself, I wasn’t the centre of my own world or universe. So if someone was negative towards me, it was not happening to me – it was happening to them. It only showed me where they were at. And I could take a time and think of their reaction, their feelings, the situation they are in, their reasons for their actions and comments. It almost sounds like a superpower! While making this analyse of the time at my best, listing my behaviours, attitudes, remembering those moments, remembering how it felt. I now see how simple it was and I can practise daily to be at my best again and stay at my best.
Try it yourself and please share your thoughts:
- Make a list of things people have said you should change to be better.
- Think of times you were at your best, when you were excited and effective at home or work.
- Make a list of the behavior, attitudes, or perspectives you used in those events.
- How did it feel while you were making this list?
- How did it feel while you were remembering these moments?