I got lost. I turn into a person who’s the opposite of who I normally am. Or that’s just my Dark-side of me, I didn’t know I had and now, I will share it with you all. I have criticised a place, I have blamed others, I gave an opinion with all the bad energy of my word behind it. I said you were fake, empty and lifeless. And you have accepted my opinion and gave me exactly that. But I know only hurt people hurt and I hurt you, because I was hurting inside. I was tired, stressed and full of emotional pain caused by a disappointment and change. I wanted it to be easy and painless transition. But it wasn’t easy and I have become a destroyer of everything around me with my harsh words.
All my life I used my words to create the most beautiful dream, that I was living. I shared love, I spoke love, I saw beauty everywhere. So when have I enslaved myself to negative thoughts? Did my emotional state turn me against myself? Feeding myself with my own poison, living in the past and blind to the truth. My own words slowly building the walls of hate closing on me, I’m suffocating, I can barely breathe.
The truth was, it was me who was fake, empty and lifeless. I insulted you and you insulted me back. I was selfish with you, you were selfish with me. Missing my dream of the past so much, that I am unable to see and enjoy the dream that was happening for me right now.