Not the Homecoming Kind

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‘When are you coming home?’ hearing voice of my mum over the phone ‘When are you going to settle somewhere?’ Every-time. Same questions get answered by the very same silence. My stomach turns upside down and I swallow the truth.

Living in different places, made me flexible more adaptable and emotionally so much stronger. My life has been a constant change. Change of places, cities, countries, continents, friends, apartments and houses. Just when I think I settled somewhere, made it home, created my own circle of friends, gained a social status or work recognition. I get this urge to go. I don’t know where my home is. I like it everywhere. I don’t feel tied to one place. I live on planet Earth and that is how much I can pint point where I feel at home. I believe, I am not meant to live in one place. There is only as much as you can learn in one place. And not change is easy, so is not moving countries. Every time you move, you start form zero. Right from the bottom. Again. Every place has it’s own unique heartbeat. It’s own way of how things get done. Shortcuts. Hidden gems and secrets. Hot spots. Smell. Etiquette. Different mix of people. Culture. Pulse. Rhythm. All to learn, respect, adapt and accept. Even if you know couple of people, you have no social status, no recognition. So why do I do it? I guess I love ‘new’ and dislike ‘easy’. When things get easy and comfortable I get bored. When a place has nothing to offer me anymore. Doesn’t teach or no longer surprises me, I feel I’m done. The time passes and I have to move. I just know deep down in my soul I have to go. My mum may not fully understand the good in this unsettled, changeful, temperamental, unpredictable moving yet, but I do believe it is there.

Or at least – It is who I am.

3 thoughts on “Not the Homecoming Kind

  1. I feel you. I understand fully what you mean. I could have written those sentences myself. Nomad, that is what we are. There are moments when I wonder what is wrong with me, but most of the time I wonder what is wrong with the world if people cannot understand what they are missing.

    Moving and starting a life anew is not a challenge anymore, it is lovely experience even though/because it includes taking the new environment in. Perhaps the reason why moving is not a challenge anymore is that it have become my comfort zone. It is staying in one place that I find challenging.

    Like

  2. Pingback: Where to be or Where not to be | Tonkadella's Things in Life

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