attention seeker

his hands 
touching someone else, 
his face 
more open 
and direct
full of enjoyment
eyes shining
enjoyment smile
loud laugh
just like a kid
in the school-yard
it's him
it's 
.. .......
trying so hard. 

-by tonkadella
on attention seeking behaviour in adults

too many times

too many times
I kept silent
and again
I let the conversation to 
evaporated .. 
But your words
Stay
to do the work
like some parasites 
who feed on its host
and 
Once grown
they release powerful mind-controlling 
chemicals

and change their host. 
- by tonkadella

separated heartbeats

our hearts are so distant now.
they can’t hear the beat,
they too far.
sound of the Heartbeat, 
they used to beat 
together.
The distance grows
the Heart gripped by fear.
Fear of losing that 
familiar beat.
the heartbeat,
that is home.
losing home .. 
The heart 
must find a way
to communicate!
and so .. 

it Shouts.

- by tonkadella

Too loud

Words have no value in this harsh exchange.
Too loud.
Noise.
Hurt talks.
Like a wild burning fire fueling itself.
Feeding itself.
Watering itself.
Loud noise.
Two puppets of Pain
in this game.
But if this is the only way .. okay,
Yell.
Do it again 
and again.
Too loud.
If this is the way
You can deal
then be it the way.

Exhaust me.
- by tonkadella 
Emotional Exhaustion Can Lead to Noise Sensitivity