Wonder

Why does he do that ? 
Why is he angry ? 
Why does he twists things into their opposites?
Why did he say that? 
Why does he feel superior to everyone? 
Why he confuses love with abuse? 
Why is he manipulative?
Why does he enjoy conflict so much? 
Why does he blame me, for what he does? 
Why is he telling people lies? 
Why having a good public image is all he cares for? 
Why control and power is all he fights for ? 
Why everyone else thinks he is Wonderful? 
Deep down in his heart does he know, Why? 

I Wonder .. 
How many times have I asked myself, again and again, I wonder .. 
then I close my eyes and let go, because I know I will never know.

In Response to Daily prompt 

Uncompromising

He Challenged my core beliefs .. 
And suddenly I knew .. it was time to stop compromising .. 
It was time I come to terms with the values 
that I actually believe in my heart.

In response to Daily prompt

Messy

In response to today’s one-word prompt.

Seemed so beautiful. 
I believed you won't hurt me. 
I shared my secret, my deepest truth, I trusted you. 
Only to come to find myself in a battle 

Me Vs You 

I wanted it to be real 
you wanted me to kneel.
To fit you. 
To align with your idea 
of who 
you wanted me to be too
Seem so beautiful. 
Now you blame me 
for your misunderstanding 
of who I am
as Me.
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Heart Opener

An extra room has magically been added to your home overnight. The catch: if you add more than three items to it, it disappears. How do you use it?

Add yoga mat, music and a candle. I would use it for opening my heart once gain, in privacy, securely. I would lie on my back, bend my knees and place my feet flat on the ground. My palms flat on the ground above my shoulders. I would take a deep breath, pressing into my palms, lifting my head, shoulders, and hips off the mat, straightening my arms and legs. The wheel pose – The Heart opener. I feel exposed, vulnerable, weak.

An open heart in my life, means not afraid to love, to share, to open your heart. Which also can be difficult or dangerous if you have closed yourself off for protection against emotional pain. An open heart is beautiful creation. Allows you to willingly give and receive love. I’m opening up in way that feels safe and secure, at my own pace, here in my breathing room.

Benefits

  • increases elasticity and flexibility of the spine
  • strengthens your arms, wrists, abdomen, legs, shoulders and chest
  • opens up the chest and strengthens the lungs
  • energizes you physically and mentally
  • heart opening backbend intended to cure any broken hearts from our past, while allowing ourselves new opportunity for love

wheel

A Name for Yourself

If your name (nickname, blog name) were to become an adjective, what would it mean?

Tonkadellic meaning perfect and heavenly ideal connection in terms of emotional intelligence, empathy, deeper understanding of inner beauty, raw feelings and emotional values. Tonkadellic would stand for harmony of morals, ethics and respect.

Tonkadellian would be  a person practising tonkadellism.

Tonkadellism promoting basic human values, like human compassion, human affection. And in that respect, more sensitivity. In politics tonkadellism would play a very important role. Tonkadellism would be practised simply by compromising to retain peace.

From tonkadellopedia

Mind Reader

The last person I saw before reading today’s daily prompt and before I sat down to write this, is my domestic helper. Call her what you want, cleaner or a maid. I like to call her a helper, because she is helping me with all general house work and no maid would ever clean my house the way I do and like. So I do the organizing bit. She was just here, before I sat down to write, she wiped off the dust on my desk and finished all works downstairs.

Now she is upstairs hoovering my bedroom and probably thinking that they will cut her salary down at her office as she arrived two hours late. I will pay her a little extra money tho. Probably thinking of her plans for the long weekend ahead of us. She just stopped the hoover and sneezed twice, then started vacuuming again. That was odd, why would someone stop vacuuming just to sneeze. Would you not sneeze while hoovering ? I guess most of the time she is just thinking why on earth is my whole house covered in cats hair. She thinks I am the crazy cat lady. Yup, that is exactly what she is thinking right now.

In response to Daily Prompt – Mind Reader 

The Only Witness

When you do something scary or stressful — bungee jumping, public speaking, etc. — do you prefer to be surrounded by friends or by strangers? Why?

Surrounded by friends or strangers? Surprisingly, I have no feelings to this question. Yeah, rare! I have no preference at all. I have no answer. Wow. I think I take my own circumstances as they come. And that doesn’t mean I am fearless. Fearless is impossible. I actually fear almost everything. When I am doing something scary or new, I get stressed, doubtful and nervous. However I feel, no matter what I have to deal with, I am on my own, no matter if I’m surrounded by family, friends or strangers. No one can make a difference, to my pounding heart, my stomach turning or to my body sweating. It is always a personal challenge. It is happening inside of me. Me facing my own fears. No one can face them for me or with me. My fear is invisible to everyone else. At that moment it is just me and my fear alone – face to face. What people can see could be my nervousness. And nervousness surrounding what I want to do is considered a good sign too. I would say that company of strangers teaches me more about who I am as a person in different situations. Be it public speaking or bungee jump.

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