Too loud

Words have no value in this harsh exchange.
Too loud.
Noise.
Hurt talks.
Like a wild burning fire fueling itself.
Feeding itself.
Watering itself.
Loud noise.
Two puppets of Pain
in this game.
But if this is the only way .. okay,
Yell.
Do it again 
and again.
Too loud.
If this is the way
You can deal
then be it the way.

Exhaust me.
- by tonkadella 
Emotional Exhaustion Can Lead to Noise Sensitivity

The Only Witness

When you do something scary or stressful — bungee jumping, public speaking, etc. — do you prefer to be surrounded by friends or by strangers? Why?

Surrounded by friends or strangers? Surprisingly, I have no feelings to this question. Yeah, rare! I have no preference at all. I have no answer. Wow. I think I take my own circumstances as they come. And that doesn’t mean I am fearless. Fearless is impossible. I actually fear almost everything. When I am doing something scary or new, I get stressed, doubtful and nervous. However I feel, no matter what I have to deal with, I am on my own, no matter if I’m surrounded by family, friends or strangers. No one can make a difference, to my pounding heart, my stomach turning or to my body sweating. It is always a personal challenge. It is happening inside of me. Me facing my own fears. No one can face them for me or with me. My fear is invisible to everyone else. At that moment it is just me and my fear alone – face to face. What people can see could be my nervousness. And nervousness surrounding what I want to do is considered a good sign too. I would say that company of strangers teaches me more about who I am as a person in different situations. Be it public speaking or bungee jump.

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