If I stayed I would be proving myself to others,
I had to leave to prove myself to myself.
If I Stayed I would love myself less,
I had to leave to love myself again.
If I Stayed I would allow you to make me feel worthless,
I had to leave to see my value.
If I stayed I would lose myself.
I had to leave to find me.
If I stayed I would be always tired,
I had to leave to become alive.
If I stayed I would watch you hurting me more,
I had to leave to heal.
If I stayed I would suffocate,
I had to leave to breathe.
I didn't leave because I stopped loving you,
I left because I had to love me too.
Why does he do that ?
Why is he angry ?
Why does he twists things into their opposites?
Why did he say that?
Why does he feel superior to everyone?
Why he confuses love with abuse?
Why is he manipulative?
Why does he enjoy conflict so much?
Why does he blame me, for what he does?
Why is he telling people lies?
Why having a good public image is all he cares for?
Why control and power is all he fights for ?
Why everyone else thinks he is Wonderful?
Deep down in his heart does he know, Why?
I Wonder ..
How many times have I asked myself, again and again, I wonder ..
then I close my eyes and let go, because I know I will never know.
touching someone else,
full of enjoyment
just like a kid
in the school-yard
my husband ..
trying so hard.
on attention seeking behaviour in adults
I kept silent
again and again
I let the conversation to
But your words
never left me
those hash words
to do the work
like some parasites
who feed on its host
they release powerful
and change their host.
our hearts are so distant now.
they can’t hear the beat,
they too far.
sound of the Heartbeat,
they used to beat
The distance grows
the Heart gripped by fear.
Fear of losing that
that is home.
losing home ..
must find a way
and so ..
- by tonkadella