If I stayed I would be proving myself to others, I had to leave to prove myself to myself. If I Stayed I would love myself less, I had to leave to love myself again. If I Stayed I would allow you to make me feel worthless, I had to leave to see my value. If I stayed I would lose myself. I had to leave to find me. If I stayed I would be always tired, I had to leave to become alive. If I stayed I would watch you hurting me more, I had to leave to heal. If I stayed I would suffocate, I had to leave to breathe. I didn't leave because I stopped loving you, I left because I had to love me too.
Why does he do that ? Why is he angry ? Why does he twists things into their opposites? Why did he say that? Why does he feel superior to everyone? Why he confuses love with abuse? Why is he manipulative? Why does he enjoy conflict so much? Why does he blame me, for what he does? Why is he telling people lies? Why having a good public image is all he cares for? Why control and power is all he fights for ? Why everyone else thinks he is Wonderful? Deep down in his heart does he know, Why? I Wonder .. How many times have I asked myself, again and again, I wonder .. then I close my eyes and let go, because I know I will never know.
In Response to Daily prompt
He Challenged my core beliefs .. And suddenly I knew .. it was time to stop compromising .. It was time I come to terms with the values that I actually believe in my heart.
In response to Daily prompt
his hands touching someone else, his face more open and direct full of enjoyment eyes shining enjoyment smile loud laugh just like a kid in the school-yard it's him it's my husband .. trying so hard. -by tonkadella on attention seeking behaviour in adults
many times I kept silent again and again I let the conversation to evaporate .. But your words never left me those hash words Stay to incubate to do the work like some parasites who feed on its host they stay to incubate and Once grown they release powerful mind-controlling chemicals and change their host.
- by tonkadella
our hearts are so distant now. they can’t hear the beat, they too far. sound of the Heartbeat, they used to beat together. The distance grows the Heart gripped by fear. Fear of losing that familiar beat. the heartbeat, that is home. losing home .. The heart must find a way to communicate! and so .. it Shouts. - by tonkadella
Words have no value in this harsh exchange. Too loud. Noise. Hurt talks. Like a wild burning fire fueling itself. Feeding itself. Watering itself. Loud noise. Two puppets of Pain in this game. But if this is the only way .. okay, Yell. Do it again and again. Too loud. If this is the way You can deal then be it the way. Exhaust me.
- by tonkadella Emotional Exhaustion Can Lead to Noise Sensitivity