What you Believe you Are

You have the power to create. Your power is so strong that whatever you believe comes true. You create yourself, whatever you believe you are. You are the way you are because that is what you believe about yourself. Your whole reality, everything you believe, is your creation. You have the same power as any other human in the world. The main difference between you and someone else is how you apply your power, what you create with your power. You may be similar to others in many ways, but no one in the whole world lives her life the way you do.
You have practiced all of your life to be what you are, and you do it so well that you master what you believe you are. You master your own personality, your own beliefs; you master every action, every reaction. You practice for years and years, and you achieve the level of mastery to be what you believe you are. Once we can see that all of us are masters, we can see what kind of mastery we have.

Wanted to share this Note from Chapter 1- The wounded Mind in The Mastery of Love

Wisdom Book by DON MIGUEL RUIZ

In response to Daily Prompt – Reason to believe 

Flash Fiction

She was hated. By everybody. For not apparent reason. She was young and very pretty, maybe that was the real reason. She has started work there three months ago and wasn’t accepted form day one, by anyone. They surely made her feel, she was unwanted. They destroyed her work, daily. Behind her back. Every time she turned around, her work was destroyed or messed up by those women. They have ganged up. She wasn’t stupid, she knew what was going on, shocked by the lengths these women would go, just to crash her. Childish. Women in their thirties, forties even fifties. She was 22, also part of the problem. She was unwanted. She was hurt, but never said anything to anyone. She kept silent and tried to fix the damage done to her work. Every day. She knew, she will not survive this way, at place with women from hell.

One day she completed all her assignments, and was asked to the extra job in different department. It was almost the end of the day and since she was happy with her own work, she left to quickly do the other. But when she got called for inspection by the manager to come back to her section, she just froze at the sight of her work. Destroyed and messy beyond the words. The manager, however was stupid. Looking down at her asked her if she even did work on her assignment and commanded her to stay behind to do it again. She said nothing and picked up the pieces of her destroyed work to make everything right once again. Her colleagues were sharing private jokes between themselves on the way out, giving her the pity look. She would go home late that night, knowing tomorrow will be just the same.

PS: Today, I challenged myself to try flash fiction – 300 words in six words:

The Pretty Was Hated By Everyone 

My Awkward Age

I have reached this awkward age, truthfully I haven’t actually been reaching for it, I haven’t even dream about turning 30. My friend told me “don’t worry about hitting 30, is nothing” so I didn’t. Phew! I stayed calm, beyond reach and happy. Until the big day came and I quickly realized, I’m not hitting 30 at all! The 30 is hitting me! Hitting me hard, not only, it slapped me, smacked me, punched me and knocked me out! Left a mark and affected me badly. Can you see how I play drama? It’s true, I’m telling you as it really is. I only then realized that the time passes – for ME too. Ouch, I still can’t believe it. I’m not saying I’m getting old, oh please I’m definitely not reaching for that one.

When my big 30 moved forward at me (in slow motion: it tiptoed over to me undetectably and without any emotion, punched me right in my face) I suddenly became fully aware of the fact that, perhaps I’m not as young and beautiful as I was from my own point of view. Maybe my silly oh sooo human mind, just got mean to me, maybe resisting ageing, my mind mistreated me and gave me some good beating. And it worked!

My mind created a very negative relationship with myself. With all of us! Me, myself, my body, my face and I. Together completely lost on the other side – in my thirties. But hey hold on, I don’t know how to do 30! I felt like I was kicked out of Disneyland, knocking on the door hopelessly in the heat of the night, pleaseeee take me back! Self pity, suffering and tears. Dramatic? I agree. Real story tho!

I rejected myself for being 30. This dissatisfying relationship with myself, started slowly reflecting in my relationship with others. I changed. Of course. I was different. I wasn’t aware that I have fallen. I have fallen because in my mind I wasn’t beautiful anymore. It was nothing but my self importance, illusion and false belief that brought me to that fall.

But If I didn’t love myself, how much love could I have to give and share at that point? You do the math. When I became aware of my negative mind and my own fall, I went back to myself, because I know everything I need, I already have. I would like to think that I still have time to practice how to deal with my new unwanted badge and figure out how to age gracefully. I mean I need to get better at this, surely!

ImageHaunted by Charles Hildreth photographer from Denver see his beautiful Gallery here

Just Don’t Mess with Me

Not a Fighter. Not a Badass. I choose to be Happy. I choose Love. Someone has to do it! So I listen with love to this inner conflict and reflect on it until I get to be in peace around it. However if the conflict is close to my heart I will stand up, speak out and let it all out.

Daily Prompt: How do you handle conflict?

Where to Be or Where Not to Be

That’s is the true question I ask myself everyday. This question lies heavy upon me and I’m overwhelmed with all my options. I walked, tasted, smelled, touched many beautiful landscapes. Explored cities, travelled countries and fallen in love with places. I lived and  adapted to diffrent cultures, accepted the truth of me as Not the Homecoming Kind. I moved spontanuasly, my relocations happened on emotional impulse, impulse telling me to go. And my build-in compass told me Where to go everytime. I never analysed it and never questioned the choices I made. Just packed and went with the wind. It was easy.

Recently my style has changed. A lot. I feel lost and confused by this new approach to my changeful life. Obsessed with this one question. And it has a huge effect on my soul and state of my mind. I think and rethink my next steps more carefully, I put my new ideas under the microscope and calculate my next move. I analyse deeply where I want to go next and what environment do I want to live in. Seems like I want make some super wise decision that will tick all the boxes – searching for a place of perfection that doesn’t exist, which changes the way I pick my paths. I am getting strong impulse to go, but not receiving any signals from my compass on where.

Could it be that places give us peace of mind, a happiness? I thought happiness is inside my heart no matter where I go, I take it with me. But could my happiness depend on where I am? If so, am I where I should be?

Where to be or Where not to be ? 

Don’t get confused, I have a suspicion it started with that awkward age I reached last summer. Am I running out of places I could live in or am I looking for the perfect nest?

In response to Daily Prompt: Can’t get it out of my head 

Show your Marriage some Love

I say it – Marriage is not easy. Yes. Not. Easy. That is the barehearted truth. I apologise in advance if you about to get married, planning your wedding or you dreaming of getting married one day, having much prettier idea of life in marriage. And you should get married, because it is truly beautiful commitment. You decide if you want to read on or stop reading now.

For those who are married, we all know, it’s not a breaking news, but no one is talking about it until is too late. Then it gets to a point that you need to talk about it in smallest details going way back when.. he did, she did .. to some other person and pay crazy money for someone else to listen to your story, only to find out where it all started. I refuse to wait until I get there. I say it from day one I got married, it is not easy. That doesn’t mean, there is something wrong with us, we are very happy, but I’m not going to keep silence about the fact that life in marriage is not easy. You would think, being together for a serious number of years, being happy in love, marriage will not change what we have, most probably you would think it will seal it and make it stronger – one even better unit. Yes I did too.

But it took me by surprise, when I found myself straggling inside of this idea of husband and wife inside of this legal, formal union.

We are two people, that love eachother so much and decided on forever. We might have something in common, but we are two individuals, we might think we share the same dream or vision, but that is impossible for two people to have identical dreams. So we both think and picture what marriage is, differently.

I entered the marriage with some idea of how my husband should be and he has an image of his perfect wife crystal clear in his head. Expectations. Ofcourse I had no expectations of my boyfriend, at all. But somehow I do of my husband, I expect him to be, act and behave certain way to fit this idea of who my husband is. The only one and the same thing we share really, is the same goal – to be together. We expect something from eachother from the day we exchanged the rings in the chapel and the comitment of our promise, planted seeds of expectations. We expect things from eachother and if it doesn’t happen, we blame eachother for not fulfilling our expectations. But..

True Love has no expectations.

Marriage creates great expectations, grows them bigger day by day, pushing love out slowly. I now let go of figuring out and trying to fit us both into this thing called marriage, because I like being in love. I stop expecting and show my marriage some love.

PS: Unedited post sent by tonkadella from my iPad while traveling

Make Me Smile

tonkadella’s things in life that I can count on to put smile on my face.

Smiling babies. My cat Dolly. Laughing babies. My cat Tubby. Cat in a box. Morning cup of coffee with Raspberry. Koffey waiting for something to come out of a bathtub. A cosmopolitan. Sunset. Funny babies. The Beach. Real people with passion. And a cat in a box. Shhh Koffey still waiting in a bathtub. Traveling with my husband. Being watched at all times. Did I say a cat in a box? Being silly with my sister. Chocolate banana pancakes. Raspberry does yoga. Okay cat on the shelf for a change. The Sun. Sea. Every new day. Sunrise. And me never left alone.

Daily Prompt: Make Me Smile

Read a post by Cabin Pressure May Change blog, that made me smile too, here.